Lately I had a very bad episode, this time it was longer than any I ever had. I usually make a lot of jokes with other people, something like “nothing to do about it – I am close to my expiration date”, but now the jokes are tasting bitter and bitter. I am not afraid of the end – it will be the end and basta. I am afraid of the time before the end, I am afraid of incapacity to do what I love and love what I do. I am afraid that it will be to close or to far away and I would like to have something to say about it. To close that I will not have enough time to accomplish what I wish to accomplish or to far away so that my love one(s) cannot bounce back to life after me….